Note: This story won first place in the “Profile” category of the 2024 Student Keystone Media Awards. Congratulations, Abby!
By Abby Hernandez ‘24
After meeting at a dance in a firehouse, getting married, having five children, and even getting divorced for two years, Barry and Janet Coates have now been married for 60 years. They share what life has been for them, and everything that they have accomplished together.
Janet and Barry met at a dance at Palmery firehouse. They both loved to dance, and eventually ended up being at the same place at the same time. She was around the age of 17, and he was 21.
“From the first time I put my eyes on him, I fell in love,” Janet said.
“And I did too,” Barry added.
Around the time that they met, Barry worked at Lukens Steel Company, and Janet worked at Pauls Toytown, in Coatesville, as a cashier. Barry kept that job until he retired, but Janet was also a nurse’s aide, and worked at Pepperidge Farm.
Fast forward a few years later, on October fifth, 1963, Barry and Janet got married. She was 19 years old and he was 23. They had their first daughter in 1965, and eventually had two more girls, and two boys.
“I love having kids. I think having children makes your marriage much stronger,” Janet said.
At first, they lived in Coatesville where they had their first daughter, then they moved to Downingtown where the rest of their kids were born. They stayed there for a few years, and in 1979 Janet and Barry built their first home together. The house was on Strasburg road, which is not too far from where they live now.
Unfortunately, all marriages have hardships, on December 18th 1985 Janet and Barry got divorced. Both Barry and Janet recall how difficult that time in their marriage was, and how hard it was on all five of their children.
“We were divorced two years almost to the day, but we were only apart for maybe three months,” Janet said.
“And our kids really wanted us together,” Barry added.
On December 16th 1987, just shy of two years, Barry and Janet got remarried in the Catholic Church. Since then, they have stayed together even through the hardships.
One of those hardships was in 2017 when Barry got stage three bladder cancer. It was a struggle for both of them and the whole family. Not too long after he was diagnosed with cancer, he had surgery to take away the cancer. Fortunately the surgery was a success.
Now that Barry is cancer free, there are still things that both him and Janet have to deal with because of the surgery, but Janet has been with him every step of the way. Janet even explains how when they got married, a vow that they took most seriously was through sickness and health.
Similarly, when Janet had back surgeries, shoulder surgeries, and anything else, Barry took on the big roles and helped just as she helped him.
Around the house, Janet explains how they work as a team when it comes to the chores. They each have their own thing that they do, but the hard work comes from both of them.
“I clean the house, wash clothes, you know, just household chores,” Janet said. “He helps me with everything. He works outside a lot doing outside chores.”
“I fold the clothes, put them away, and clean the house at least once every week,” Barry added.
To have a strong marriage, you and your partner have to work together. Barry and Janet do many things that make their marriage stay strong, but there is one thing that stands above everything that they both have learned from being together for so long.
“Just be good to each other, love each other, and be loyal to each other,” Janet said.
Being married for 60 years comes with many different life experiences and challenges, but both Barry and Janet said that they don’t know where they would be without each other.
“I’d probably be a bum,” Barry said.
“And I’d probably be a nun,” Janet added.
